Finished school... Gonna go home soon. Gonna rest a while... spend time with God then go jamming later... I think I'll go into a hole with God for the rest of the year (11 months)... I think thats what He wants? Need to protect my heart and emotions. This hole only concerns BG relationships so don't worry, I won't become anti-social... I haven't broken my 1 year promise, but I haven't totally protected my heart either... I'll be brutally honest, her thinking has changed... I wasn't sure at first but now I am... Maybe its confusion or whatever but the things she's done require her willingness in some areas... Its not like they forced her to do anything. Anyway, she has to get back to God if I consider her as a life partner. Thats the most important thing... Once that's done, everything else will fall in place...

Do I still love her...? YES.
Can I forgive her? YES.
Do I want her back? YES.
Will I go after her? NO.
Will I try to do something when I hear about/ see her with another guy? NO.
What if she messages me? I'll reply normally.
What if she calls me? I'll talk normally.

Its sad that I have to do this type of things to control myself... Well, the bible does say flee from temptation. Help me God...